Chicks-n-Scratching

I have a mess and a half to clean up today. Majorly.

Backstory. I knew my children had a two hour delay due to weather that threatened to turn into a cancellation. The threat was a good one, I figured they would be home since our school system freaks over a chilly fart in the wind. So they had spent a long time building this elaborate play area where pirate ships attacked a Lego village and set fire to things. The fire department would then have to work at rescuing everyone. (One kid is into pirates, the other firefighters, can you tell?)

Rather than dismantle it, I left it alone assuming they would get up and resume playing. With me so far? Yeah? Good.

I have been battling this insomnia thing that is frankly kicking my ass. I took a little something to help me sleep and went to bed at the ungodly early hour of 11PM. Lights out, that’s all she wrote. zzzzzzzz

*CRASH!*

I heard it but through my drugged fog, didn’t care. I figured if it was something dangerous, the smoke alarm would go off. Back to dream land I go.

This morning I wake to discover a fucking bomb went off in my kitchen.(Explanation, my kitchen dining room were open/attached but I converted the dining portion to an office area.)

This is the story relayed to me by my husband who was sleeping on the couch for other marital reasons…

In the wee hours, our Christmas gift kitten, named FELON, is an instigator to trouble. He pounced on the older cat who acted as if he were mortally wounded and went streaking into the kitchen. Hubby followed half asleep to investigate. He tripped over a pirate ship, fell into a ladder truck and against my 7 foot fully stocked bookshelf.

Now, I had a lot more than books on that shelf. I had a few hundred books but also a couple baskets of junk, a nice display of my collectible tins, etc. Said bookshelf teetered and tottered before falling, taking with it everything in its path, namely the Lego village, a second matching 7 foot book shelf and the lamp. Shit flew everywhere, hitting my desk, pushing a bunch of stuff to the ground, littering the floor, breaking glass, etc. My CD collection skated across the floor like drunks on ice, my printer is in two pieces and my computer went for a trip form the middle of the desk to the left.

Hubby picked up the aforementioned FELON, threw cat in the kids’ room and shut the door and went back to sleep. I awoke to writer/mother Armageddon in my office area.

I am not a happy author. Nor mother. Nor cat owner. Nor wife for that matter. I have spent two hours already cleaning up broken stuff and gathering little dangerous things like push pins and thumbtacks and what was a beautiful candy jar. Paper clips and pens and all sorts of desk paraphernalia. All mixed in with pirates, firefighters, legos and matchbox cars.

Luckily, my computer only slid and suffered no damage or I could have ended up in jail for feline/hubby murder.

So no writing today, I am restocking the shelves and rearranging furniture to avoid anything like this in the future.With the entire family under foot. Joy.

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