Archive for the ‘INEZ’ Category

Not that Goofy. The other kind, silly, cutting up, hanging loose and just being… stupid.

13 things that make me laugh or in some way tickle my silly bone.

BUFFY meets Edward

Vampires suck

STAR TREK as you’ve never seen it

I’m melting. It is too damned hot to move. 13 lines cut off in a weird place no matter where I looked so bonus lines, but not many.  Enjoy!

TALK DIRTY TO ME by Inez Kelley and Ginny Glass

Coming from Carina Press July 19th

“God, your skin is like silk. My hands are stroking down your stomach. Run the Bullet around your bellybutton, slow. That’s my tongue, Nora. Trace your hip all the way down, sweetheart. No, I hear you turning it up. Leave it alone, medium setting. I like to take my time.”

Goosebumps erupted along her tummy, the soft vibrations channeling lust through her body, igniting a growing need at her core.

“Go right to your bikini line. Drag the tip just across it. Now up to your navel again.”

“James, please…”

“Shh, let me explore you. Turn it up just a bit. I want to nibble a line straight down your hip to your leg.”

A whimper eked out before she could stop it. James chuckled.

“I’ve got a taste of you and now I’m starving for more. I want you to slide the Bullet across your inner thighs. There and only there.”

She did what he asked, shivering. Her nipples ached with delicious pain, and her wet pussy thumped in empty need.

“Now what?”

“Imagine my fingers there, skimming across the muscles. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t you dare touch anywhere else.”

She fell into the rhythm of his words, rocked to the low bass of a voice that had no body. He was everywhere, but nowhere. It was deliriously wicked and entirely not enough. Sweat covered her body.

“Touch me more.”

TALK DIRTY TO ME

Get it, love it, buy batteries.

I had waaaaaaaaaay too much fun on Twitter last night not to share some of my favorites today. The hashtag is my creation because my brain was melting and I needed to laugh. The idea is stuff that would automatically be rejected by an editor or agent in a romance novel.

I got silly. Then more people joined in! So here are some of my favorites. If they are not accredited with a @, then *I* said it.

1- If your hero announces “RELEASE THE KRAKEN” and drops his pants #AutoRejection

2- If your heroine screams her brother’s name in bed #AutoRejection

3- The word TALLYWACKER #AutoRejection

4- @jodie_who: When the ’secret baby/pregnancy’ is a secret to the heroine as well. #AutoRejection

5- If your hero ever utters the words “You’re tighter than a sheep” #AutoRejection

6- @ginnyglass: If the marriage of convenience involves a bride or groom that is inflatable #AutoRejection

7- @jodie_who: When the hero expects the heroine to get along with his sex doll. When a hero HAS a sex doll #AutoRejection

8- If the hero sparkles and runs faster than lightning… oh wait, nevermind #AutoRejection

9- @WendySparrow: If the enviable long silky mustache is on your heroine…. #AutoRejection

10- @ginnyglass: If your makeover scenes involve labia reduction surgery, please dear God #AutoRejection

11- @VivianArend: If the heroine’s 5 o’clock shadow is heavier than the heroes #AutoRejection

12- @katiebabs: If the hero wants the heroine to meet his son and it’s a sock puppet name Norm #autorejection

13- @ginnyglass: When the third in your menage is the hero’s ventriloquist dummy #AutoRejection

BONUS!  Because these are too good to miss…

@jodie_who: The fact the hero NAMES his penis. #AutoRejection

If your shifter is a dog and licks his own balls #AutoRejection

@katiebabs: When the hero breaks out the penis pump during the first sex scene #autorejection

@EbonyMcKenna: “dear sir/madam agent. I wrote this vampire fiction-novel in my own blood..” #autorejection

@ginnyglass: if tattoo’d above the hero’s belt line – “caution: choking hazard” or “may contain nuts” #AutoRejection

If each member of your menage is a different gender #autorejection

Got to love twitter when you are brain fried!

I have 3/4 of a teaspoon on brainpower left. This summer is just sucking the life out of me. S0 a quick random glimpse into whatever thought pops into my head.

13: I hate mosquitoes with a hate as hot as the flames of a crackwhore’s crotch. *itchitchitch*

12: Why is there no government stipend for writers/mothers? There should be.

11: Too much sex toy browsing with Ginny Glass last night (for prize baskets, people, mind out of the gutter). Dreamed I was in a vibe warehouse. It hummed.

10: Didn’t sleep well and Am grumpy today. Not too different than normal  lately.

9: I am so far behind on technology it isn’t funny. I feel like the caveman in the Geico commercials.

8: I miss the mountains.

7: I want to write and write and yet, my brain is in a meh loop and I don’t like anything that comes out.

6: I make a killer pan of homemade lasagna. Now if it wasn’t so damn hot I might feel like eating.

5: Sometimes I live too much in my stories and then get confused when the real world intrudes.

4: The last few books I have read left me wondering what the hell??

3: I want a nose job like a teenage boy wants laid.

2: I dodged a professional bullet yesterday and feel guilty because I feel so relieved.

1: Pajamas are wonderful clothes and should be given more respect.

First off, until the next comment is added, there have been 666 approved messages on this blog. *gulp*  Does that say something or what?

Okay, moving on…

I despise SPAM and it makes no sense to me whatsoever. We chicks write about a lot of varied things so it is hard to tell what word we might choose in a specific place but whatever it is, it must trip some SPAMbot’s trigger because we get some weird-assed SPAM here. So for my Thursday 13… SPAM!

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13- Okay, really, we write romance novels. Romance heroes DO NOT  need viagra.

Some time ago, I really needed to buy a good house for my organization but I didn’t have enough cash and could not buy anything. Thank heaven my fellow suggested to take the mortgage loans at reliable bank. Therefore, I did so and used to be happy with my financial loan.

12 – I am happy for you AmandaMortgage, I really am. Now go away.

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11- uhm.. okay then

Greatings, ,

Gracias – Worker

10- Nice try, Worker. The email of a free porn site adds mucho credibility to your post and what a kreaytive speller!

okey but i’m lost hahah just how? do u achieve so many mobsters since i just have 4 ( including my mafia! ) plus i doubt im planning to achieve higher addtionally i’m level nineteen plus gaining greater thus precisely how do i increase my mafia members quick at such a low lvl Or is this a bad website to question?

9- Which chick used the words FACEBOOK and attracted that loser?

I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success.

8- Thanks for the compliment Goldwizard. I expect to see shared royalties, got it?

I apologise, but, in my opinion, you commit an error. I can prove it.

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7- riiiiiiiiiight I will jump on THAT offer to PM you, idiot.

I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidentally?like on a breeze.

6- *headpat* It’s alright, Forrest. Nice credit check link in the email too.

Lost was initially such a good tv show, nothing else on the telly actually comes close.

5- Never saw it but thank so much onlinetv for stopping by!

Howdy, your site is on air in the radio! Good job mate. Your posts are truly great and bookmarked. Regards

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3- I am trying to figure out what amateur radio has to do with porn… it escapes me

Did you hear the one about the farmer and the priest? email me!

2- Did you hear the one about the asshole sent to the trash file?

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1- geeee, just what I always wanted!

*delete forever*

At least until tomorrow. Tune in soon for another rousing edition of NAME THAT SPAM!!

Until then… mancandy!

He’s saying SPAM GIVES ME A HEADACHE!

No, not vampires, I love vampires. JR Ward’s Wrath could chow down and I would lay there all weak and sweaty, begging him to do it again…and again.

MOSQUITOES! Gah! These things are like Japanese kamikaze bombers. I walked out to the car last night and got swarmed. A literal visible swarm hit me. They were in my hair, my face, down my shirt, up my skirt. I don’t even know these insects and they are getting down right personal. I have bites on my boobs, my butt and my arms are covered. They didn’t even buy me dinner first.  Then my husband informs my only the females bite. This is girl on girl action I could do without.

I am coating everyone in bug spray, doing foggers and even resorted to a yard spray. Sadly, I think I will still lose. So I sit and try not to scratch(fail at that) and my poor kids look like they have the played connect the dot in pink marker on their legs.

Anyone have any tried and true anti-bloodsucker remedies?

I have a confession. I prefer dirty men. Yep, give me a blue collar guy any day over a starched white collar hero any day. Not that there are not some areas that are in the middle, there are. Like security specialist (that icon of RomSus) or even Police officers, etc. Those types of professions I don’t normally associate with any collar, actually. Hmm, that group needs a name. Let’s call them the middle men for sake of argument.

Now, I get the appeal of white collar dudes, I do. I have written a few. There is something soothing about a guy sitting in an office, making deals, making money (face it, the $$$ is what white collar is about), the thrill of the legal and business game. These men are lawyers, business tycoons, leaders of industry, the historical viscount, etc.

I get all that.These men are usually very intelligent, somewhat ruthless and have shark-like instincts. They hold power like a sword and wield it with razor-sharp precision.  Good hero characteristics if you don’t make them dull as dishwater or an alphahole.

The Middle Men bridge the gap between the stuffed shirts and common man. They are not so out of reach as to be unattainable but they are a not the everyday Joe. They often are required to have a great body to do their jobs but they are not the kind that come home daily sweaty and grease stained.

They are in command(shades of white collar) but have to do the work themselves (blue collar). They are often the saviors of the day. Firemen, police officers, body guards, etc make up this delectable group. This is a nice balance and I think a greater number of heroes fall into this category.

Still at the end of the day, I prefer those men who have worked with their hands. The salt of the earth type, if you will. A blue collar guys knows his worth and his value isn’t attached to his bank statement. He isn’t afraid to get his clothes dirty to help out a stranger, and sometimes gets kicked in the teeth by daily life.

His hands are rough, he drinks beer not wine and may have told an off-color joke or two in his life. He is approachable, understood and attainable… and yummy. He is the farmer, the mechanic, the logger, the construction dude.

What ‘class’ of hero do you prefer?

Yeah I am cheating but work with me here, I am low on coffee this morning.

So, what’s up with you? Anything exciting happening in your life? Share with me. Entertain me.

Me? Lots of things are bubbling behind the scenes. First and foremost is the launch of Carina Press on June 7th. That is going to set the ball rolling for my summer. I have THREE stories coming out with them this summer, one a co-write with our chickilicious Ginny Glass. Here look at this…

Did your heart beat just a little faster? Mine did. Love that presentation and the cover art is gorgeous!

Speaking of gorgeous…

I want to marry that video. Is it not simply stunning? Goldenheart Winner Jeannie Lin designed it and OMG, love it!

And just because he is so… so… well, you get the idea. I leave you with this guy.

I blame Jeannie Lin for this. She mentioned the first book and it started me down memory lane and damn, there are a lot of potholes in that road. Anyway, here are 13 books I read when I was far to young(under 16) that helped shape me. Some were fabulous, others, well, they taught me something so I guess that means they were important. I can pinpoint something I learned in each of these books that, in some way, shaped who I am.

Summer of My German Soldier

Jacob Have I Loved

Go Ask Alice

Forever

I Am the Cheese

My Brother Sam is Dead

The Kent Family Chronicles

One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest

The Outsiders

Scruples

Seventeenth Summer

Island of the Blue Dolphins

Gone with the Wind




"Soul Fire" from Samhain Publishing

ebook available now (978-1-60504-619-8)

paperback available now (978-1-60504-712-6)

“No question about it, Soul Fire is monumentally thrilling and exotic. I couldn’t put the book down. A rare treat for me, I devoured this story from beginning to end in one sitting and I want more! ... An out of this world paranormal romance/fantasy story that will have readers clamoring for more, Soul Fire is one hot read I will be recommending to all of my friends.” — Amanda Haffery, ParaNormalRomance

"In Soul Fire, R. F. Long has created an intriguing world of light and dark magic. Of intense action and hot love. From the opening scene, she drew me in. Captivated me. She’s taken an age old tale of good versus evil and has freshened it up with unique characters ... I recommend R. F. Long’s Soul Fire. It made me smile and love and not want to put the book down." - Sandra Barkevich, Romantic Inks (read the full review here)

"a great fast read, like a snowball rolling and constantly gaining momentum." - Natalie, IReadRomance.com

“Let me start by saying “wow!”…R.F. Long has the amazing ability to drag her readers into the story and carry them along for the ride. The characters were unique and out of this world, yet they seemed like someone you could get along with and have fun with… If you want to read something mind-blowing and incredible then I would recommend you read this story.” ~~ Tulip, Whipped Cream Erotic Romance Reviews, 5 Cherries

Iron born and iron bred.

Trust not iron, it will see you dead.

Rowan Blake could really use a magic wand to keep her struggling art gallery afloat. But the faerie key she stumbles across is far from a lucky charm. It’s a magnet for danger, and by touching it she’s unwittingly put herself in the middle of a war between the forces of light and dark. And in the arms of its rightful owner, Prince Daire.

While searching for his brother, Daire finds himself trapped in the Iron World with a mere mortal woman who ignites his passion like no other. Each stolen kiss deepens their attraction and sends him spiraling closer and closer to the edge of his inherent dark desires. Desires that act as a homing beacon for the Dark Sidhe, who are intent on forcing him to fight on their side.

The longer he lingers in her arms—and in her bed—the closer his enemies get to her door. And the greater the risk that the gateway to the Faerie Realm will shift, destroying not only his power to protect her, but his very life.

Warning: Contains enchantments, danger, some very scary monsters, a trip to the dark side and hot, soul-transforming sex with an immortal prince.

Read An Excerpt Online

Buy from MBaM!, Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com