13- BBQ ribs and cornbread. Summer food for summer fun #ComingClean

12- It’s better than doing your own laundry #ComingClean

11- If one man is hot, two are hotter #ComingClean

10- boy parts touch girl parts, boy parts touch boy parts, lots of parts touch lots of parts #ComingClean

9- three words—BISEXUAL SHOWER BJ #ComingClean

8- Hot Latin dancing CLOTHED! Hot sheet dancing UNCLOTHED! #ComingClean

7- Sports analogies used to discuss buttsecks. Wanna know who plays catcher? #ComingClean

6- Rated everywhere 4 stars, 5 blue ribbons and TOP PICK! It’s scorching! #ComingClean

5- You’ll never guess where the SCREW ends up! #ComingClean

4- Vivi, Grant and Cade are a triangle in all ways. #ComingClean

3- It will make your heart sigh and your panties damp. #ComingClean

2- 3 people, 9 orgasms, 114 pages and only $2.99 after 25% off!  #ComingClean

1- Because married doesn’t mean ‘dead’, sometimes it means ‘more’. #ComingClean

Go get COMING CLEAN NOW… then buy batteries.

I need to get rid of my children so I can do a deep clean. I can’t do this with people under foot and it requires a couple hours solid. I need to wipe down walls, clear out closets, etc. I want to shampoo my carpets. Must wait until school is in session and this bugs me.

My space bar keeps sticking and I get random capital letter streams in things I write then have to go back and correct it. It’s annoying.

I’m out of sugar and need to go to the store for some. I don’t want to get dressed. I wish there was an instant grocery delivery but we don’t even have pizza delivery here.

Ginny Glass and I have a blog due for the Smutkateers that we haven’t been able to write! Just trouble in hooking up. *must due this*

Why do socks not mate themselves?

“Tell me what you want. Talk dirty to me.”

Biologist Nora MacGregor is frantic when she loses her dissertation notes on female sexuality—and some very personal fantasies. Then a sinful stranger calls with a wicked proposition: if she talks dirty to him, he’ll return her notes, page by page. “James” allows Nora to explore her deepest desires and challenges her clinical ideas about sex. But James can’t give her the loving touches she finds in her budding relationship with Dr. Jarod Reed.

Jarod seized an opportune moment to fulfill his desire for Nora by becoming the mysterious James. While the anonymous, erotic phone sessions are unforgettable, Jarod longs to tell Nora he wants more than just talk. But how can he confess his deception without it costing him the chance to make their fantasies a reality?

13 lines give or take…

The cell phone’s chirp interrupted her mental tirade. She glanced at the screen then flipped it open with a snap.

“You son of a bitch!”

A sharp masculine inhale rang loud in her ear. “Nora, let me expla—”

“How dare you send me something like that to my office! Anybody could have opened that package.”

Seductive laughter poured over her, richer than imported chocolate. “So you got my little gift? I was wondering. I did include thirty pages. I sort of lost count how many I owed you and took a wild guess.”

She flopped back on the futon and picked up the hard plastic package. “I got them and a surprise. I almost opened the box in front of Dr. Salih.”

The laughter turned wicked, a razor-fine edge of devilment that scored along her irritation and carved it away. She palmed her forehead. “James, what in the hell were you thinking, sending me a vibrator?”

“Come on, sweetheart, I’d think the purpose is obvious.”

Buy it now

Not that Goofy. The other kind, silly, cutting up, hanging loose and just being… stupid.

13 things that make me laugh or in some way tickle my silly bone.

BUFFY meets Edward

Vampires suck

STAR TREK as you’ve never seen it

TALK DIRTY TO ME by Inez Kelley and Ginny Glass

Coming from Carina Press July 19th

“God, your skin is like silk. My hands are stroking down your stomach. Run the Bullet around your bellybutton, slow. That’s my tongue, Nora. Trace your hip all the way down, sweetheart. No, I hear you turning it up. Leave it alone, medium setting. I like to take my time.”

Goosebumps erupted along her tummy, the soft vibrations channeling lust through her body, igniting a growing need at her core.

“Go right to your bikini line. Drag the tip just across it. Now up to your navel again.”

“James, please…”

“Shh, let me explore you. Turn it up just a bit. I want to nibble a line straight down your hip to your leg.”

A whimper eked out before she could stop it. James chuckled.

“I’ve got a taste of you and now I’m starving for more. I want you to slide the Bullet across your inner thighs. There and only there.”

She did what he asked, shivering. Her nipples ached with delicious pain, and her wet pussy thumped in empty need.

“Now what?”

“Imagine my fingers there, skimming across the muscles. Back and forth, back and forth. Don’t you dare touch anywhere else.”

She fell into the rhythm of his words, rocked to the low bass of a voice that had no body. He was everywhere, but nowhere. It was deliriously wicked and entirely not enough. Sweat covered her body.

“Touch me more.”

TALK DIRTY TO ME

Get it, love it, buy batteries.

I got silly. Then more people joined in! So here are some of my favorites. If they are not accredited with a @, then *I* said it.

1- If your hero announces “RELEASE THE KRAKEN” and drops his pants #AutoRejection

2- If your heroine screams her brother’s name in bed #AutoRejection

3- The word TALLYWACKER #AutoRejection

4- @jodie_who: When the ‘secret baby/pregnancy’ is a secret to the heroine as well. #AutoRejection

5- If your hero ever utters the words “You’re tighter than a sheep” #AutoRejection

6- @ginnyglass: If the marriage of convenience involves a bride or groom that is inflatable #AutoRejection

7- @jodie_who: When the hero expects the heroine to get along with his sex doll. When a hero HAS a sex doll #AutoRejection

8- If the hero sparkles and runs faster than lightning… oh wait, nevermind #AutoRejection

9- @WendySparrow: If the enviable long silky mustache is on your heroine…. #AutoRejection

10- @ginnyglass: If your makeover scenes involve labia reduction surgery, please dear God #AutoRejection

11- @VivianArend: If the heroine’s 5 o’clock shadow is heavier than the heroes #AutoRejection

12- @katiebabs: If the hero wants the heroine to meet his son and it’s a sock puppet name Norm #autorejection

13- @ginnyglass: When the third in your menage is the hero’s ventriloquist dummy #AutoRejection

BONUS!  Because these are too good to miss…

@jodie_who: The fact the hero NAMES his penis. #AutoRejection

If your shifter is a dog and licks his own balls #AutoRejection

@katiebabs: When the hero breaks out the penis pump during the first sex scene #autorejection

@EbonyMcKenna: “dear sir/madam agent. I wrote this vampire fiction-novel in my own blood..” #autorejection

@ginnyglass: if tattoo’d above the hero’s belt line – “caution: choking hazard” or “may contain nuts” #AutoRejection

If each member of your menage is a different gender #autorejection

Got to love twitter when you are brain fried!

13: I hate mosquitoes with a hate as hot as the flames of a crackwhore’s crotch. *itchitchitch*

12: Why is there no government stipend for writers/mothers? There should be.

11: Too much sex toy browsing with Ginny Glass last night (for prize baskets, people, mind out of the gutter). Dreamed I was in a vibe warehouse. It hummed.

10: Didn’t sleep well and Am grumpy today. Not too different than normal  lately.

9: I am so far behind on technology it isn’t funny. I feel like the caveman in the Geico commercials.

8: I miss the mountains.

7: I want to write and write and yet, my brain is in a meh loop and I don’t like anything that comes out.

6: I make a killer pan of homemade lasagna. Now if it wasn’t so damn hot I might feel like eating.

5: Sometimes I live too much in my stories and then get confused when the real world intrudes.

4: The last few books I have read left me wondering what the hell??

3: I want a nose job like a teenage boy wants laid.

2: I dodged a professional bullet yesterday and feel guilty because I feel so relieved.

1: Pajamas are wonderful clothes and should be given more respect.

Okay, moving on…

I despise SPAM and it makes no sense to me whatsoever. We chicks write about a lot of varied things so it is hard to tell what word we might choose in a specific place but whatever it is, it must trip some SPAMbot’s trigger because we get some weird-assed SPAM here. So for my Thursday 13… SPAM!

With kind regards! it for you: Tadalis: Tips for using the drug , cialis class  vigora red , discount prescription viagra  viagra women buy lady uk viagra or potency drug viagra  luxury hotel rome viagra , review cialis levitra viagra  kamagra oral jel viagra triangle and discount sildenafil generic viagra  blue moon viagra levitra professional safe levitra user review , generic viagra meltabs  2cialis compare levitra viagra . of good purchases…!!!

13- Okay, really, we write romance novels. Romance heroes DO NOT  need viagra.

Some time ago, I really needed to buy a good house for my organization but I didn’t have enough cash and could not buy anything. Thank heaven my fellow suggested to take the mortgage loans at reliable bank. Therefore, I did so and used to be happy with my financial loan.

12 – I am happy for you AmandaMortgage, I really am. Now go away.

?????? ?? ??????

?????? ?? ???????

????????? ???

?????? ????? ?? ?????????

11- uhm.. okay then

Greatings, ,

Gracias – Worker

10- Nice try, Worker. The email of a free porn site adds mucho credibility to your post and what a kreaytive speller!

okey but i’m lost hahah just how? do u achieve so many mobsters since i just have 4 ( including my mafia! ) plus i doubt im planning to achieve higher addtionally i’m level nineteen plus gaining greater thus precisely how do i increase my mafia members quick at such a low lvl Or is this a bad website to question?

9- Which chick used the words FACEBOOK and attracted that loser?

I can see that you are an expert at your field! I am launching a website soon, and your information will be very useful for me.. Thanks for all your help and wishing you all the success.

8- Thanks for the compliment Goldwizard. I expect to see shared royalties, got it?

I apologise, but, in my opinion, you commit an error. I can prove it.

You were visited with excellent idea

Bravo, seems remarkable idea to me is

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I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. I am assured. Write to me in PM, we will discuss.

7- riiiiiiiiiight I will jump on THAT offer to PM you, idiot.

I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidentally?like on a breeze.

6- *headpat* It’s alright, Forrest. Nice credit check link in the email too.

Lost was initially such a good tv show, nothing else on the telly actually comes close.

5- Never saw it but thank so much onlinetv for stopping by!

Howdy, your site is on air in the radio! Good job mate. Your posts are truly great and bookmarked. Regards

4- best regards to YOU healthyandskinnyproducts! Now move along.

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3- I am trying to figure out what amateur radio has to do with porn… it escapes me

Did you hear the one about the farmer and the priest? email me!

2- Did you hear the one about the asshole sent to the trash file?

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1- geeee, just what I always wanted!

*delete forever*

At least until tomorrow. Tune in soon for another rousing edition of NAME THAT SPAM!!

Until then… mancandy!

He’s saying SPAM GIVES ME A HEADACHE!

MOSQUITOES! Gah! These things are like Japanese kamikaze bombers. I walked out to the car last night and got swarmed. A literal visible swarm hit me. They were in my hair, my face, down my shirt, up my skirt. I don’t even know these insects and they are getting down right personal. I have bites on my boobs, my butt and my arms are covered. They didn’t even buy me dinner first.  Then my husband informs my only the females bite. This is girl on girl action I could do without.

I am coating everyone in bug spray, doing foggers and even resorted to a yard spray. Sadly, I think I will still lose. So I sit and try not to scratch(fail at that) and my poor kids look like they have the played connect the dot in pink marker on their legs.

Anyone have any tried and true anti-bloodsucker remedies?

Now, I get the appeal of white collar dudes, I do. I have written a few. There is something soothing about a guy sitting in an office, making deals, making money (face it, the $$$ is what white collar is about), the thrill of the legal and business game. These men are lawyers, business tycoons, leaders of industry, the historical viscount, etc.

I get all that.These men are usually very intelligent, somewhat ruthless and have shark-like instincts. They hold power like a sword and wield it with razor-sharp precision.  Good hero characteristics if you don’t make them dull as dishwater or an alphahole.

The Middle Men bridge the gap between the stuffed shirts and common man. They are not so out of reach as to be unattainable but they are a not the everyday Joe. They often are required to have a great body to do their jobs but they are not the kind that come home daily sweaty and grease stained.

They are in command(shades of white collar) but have to do the work themselves (blue collar). They are often the saviors of the day. Firemen, police officers, body guards, etc make up this delectable group. This is a nice balance and I think a greater number of heroes fall into this category.

Still at the end of the day, I prefer those men who have worked with their hands. The salt of the earth type, if you will. A blue collar guys knows his worth and his value isn’t attached to his bank statement. He isn’t afraid to get his clothes dirty to help out a stranger, and sometimes gets kicked in the teeth by daily life.

His hands are rough, he drinks beer not wine and may have told an off-color joke or two in his life. He is approachable, understood and attainable… and yummy. He is the farmer, the mechanic, the logger, the construction dude.

What ‘class’ of hero do you prefer?